To start off with, Ben did his first ever Prisoner Burpee Challenge this morning. It was an absolute bloodbath to say the least. He fell short of his goal time due to his legs crapping out early, but I’m confident that he will have a much better experience next time. Dave filmed a portion of the workout that will absolutely qualify for the Reaction of the Week. I’ll put it up, when Dave sends it to me (and if Ben is OK with it!) Also a first for this morning, Davage, Luker, and I had a breakfast viewing party to watch Ben kill himself during his 210 rep workout. On the menu were toasted everything-bagels with cream cheese and some tasty breed of “European apples”, courtesy of Dave. It’s rare to find a group of people who are willing to wake up before 6:00am in order to come sit in a cold garage, toast bagels, and eat breakfast while watching a friend suffer through a brutal workout- for entertainment.
“Are you not entertained?!” - Maximus Decimus Meridius
Last night we had a guest join us for the first time. Ben Luker was privileged to get aquinted with the sandbag, air squats, and medicine ball slams. He did an awesome job and I hope he comes back for more!
The workout the men did tonight was called the “Prisoner Burpee Challenge”. I have seen this routine discussed on a blog I follow regularly and read horror stories of people who have tried it. This particular workout is supposedly what a new inmate is forced to do in his cell on his first day at the pen in order to determine if he is a man…or a soap dropper. The challenge is to complete a 20 to 1 countdown (20-19-18, etc.) of reps of burpees in under 20 minutes – that’s 210 total reps. Also, there can be no stopping in the middle of a set. You can rest in between sets, but the clock is ticking. And, the pushups are full chin-to-the-ground form. If you finish in under 20 minutes, allegedly you’re not a victim in prison.
Since I never like to put people through workouts that I have not experienced myself, I tried the challenge first before anyone else got to the garage. So, it turns out that I would be safe in prison. I finished in 17:11 and probably could have cut a minute or so off with company. It was extremely intense to say the least. Immediately after finishing, I felt euphoric and nauseous at the same time while experiencing locked up triceps and cramped arches in my feet. That lasted for about 15 minutes and then I remained shaky, but not dazed anymore.
I made a modification for some of the other guys that did this challenge tonight. The new standard was: if you finish in under 20 minutes, you’re not a soap dropper in a maximum security prison. If you finish in under 30 minutes, you’re not a soap dropper in a county jail…Because county jail inmates are not nearly as scary and imposing, right? So, Davage finished his challenge in 28:16 and Matt finished his in 25:05 – they were both safe at the county jail!
A good estimate for your completion time on the “Prisoner Burpee Challenge” is to take your average 100 Burpee Challenge time and multiply it by 3. This formula proved to be pretty close for all three of us who did this grueling workout tonight. Try it if you’re feeling saucy or practice it if you think you’re going to jail soon.
As for the women, I highly doubt the female inmates do crap like this. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that they definitely do not hold tryouts for soap droppers, or even have soap droppers for that matter. With that in mind, the women just did a hearty mix of high weight – low rep compound weight training mixed with some plyometric legs in between sets. I’m guessing none of the ladies have hard feelings towards me for not making them do the Prisoner Burpee Challenge.